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Marriage JokesMarriage Jokes
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Marriage One Liners
Marriage is a three ring affair: first comes the engagement ring; then comes the wedding ring; then the suffering.
Marriage is very much like a violin. After the sweet music is over, the strings are still attached.
They say marriage is like a box of choclates. You have to buy the whole box just to get a little piece.
It's true, all men are born free and equal. Until they get married.
Young Son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in most countries son.
There was this man who said "I never knew what was real happiness until I got married. Then, it was too late!
Love is one long sweet dream. Marriage is the alarm clock.
Marriage is a big gamble for a man. But for a woman, its a calculated risk.
There was this lover who told his woman he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell.
This man was telling his friends" My wife worships me!" "Really?" they were suprised. "Yeah, she place burnt offerings in front of me everyday.
A man seeing his friend rushing in with a worried look on his face asked" Why are you in such a hurry?" "Im on my way to the doctor. I don;t like the look of my wife!" "Oh......then I'll come with you. I don't like the way my wife looks too!"
"Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday, I sent an e-mail to my wife saying I'd be home that night, and when I got back home, I found my wife with another man! Why dad! Tell me why?!?!!" Dad kept silent for a few minutes then said "Maybe she didn't recieve the e-mail."
"For 20 years, I've been faithful to the same woman. If my wife ever knew, she'd kill me."
"My neighbour is always speaking ill of her husband! But look at me! My husband is foolish, lazy and a coward, but have I said ANYTHING bad about him?"
"You look troubled. Whats your problem?" I'm going to be a father!" "Thats wonderful!" "Whats wonderful? My wife doen't know about it yet!"
A couple had a bitter quarrel over their anniversary. The husband gave her a tombstone saying : Here lies my wife, cold as ever. The wife in return gave him a mattress saying : Here lies my husband STIFF at last!.
A couple got married. The bride being religous hung a sign above her bed, saying : I need thee every night. When the husband read this, he hung a sign above his head saying : God give me strength!
Soon after the late night news on television, the groom asked the bride "what do you think of the MIDDLE EAST POSITION? " The Bride replied "Dunno, never tried it!"
Son: Dad,do smart men make better husbands? Dad: Son, smart men don't get married.
Everyman should have a hobby, but make your wife doesnt know about it. (vice versa)
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