Fryes Electronics Employment Application

Featured: Featured Stories | Picture Gallery

Telegraphy | Web Matrix

Chat11.com Web Bible11.com MyBibleCenter.com

Fry's Electronics Employment Application

• Fryes Electronics Return Policy - Some Comments

We understand that Fry's is hiring. In an attempt to breed goodwill toward our corporate account, we have taken the time to redo their employment application to help improve the quality of their applicants.
Please apply early and often!

 Name:  ________________________
 Address:  _____________________

• YMCA
• Halfway house
• A cardboard box on Page Mill Rd.
• None

 City:  ____________________
 Phone:      +011 ____________

Education:

• some grammar school
• 8th grade
• some HS
• Umm..."self-taught"
• watch a lot of TV

Position:

• customer service associate
• surly sales
• "Today's Floor Supervisor is [blank]"
• door Nazi
• the guy who gets RAM out of that case locked with kryptonite bolts (just in case Superman comes in)

Cashiering positions

English is your

• Second
• Third
• Fourth
• Next

You are at a register and the customer's total is $6.31. The customer hands you a $10.00 bill. You should

• Have the customer wait while you call the Federal Reserve to make sure the bill is good
• Shout, "Check approval please!"
• Mumble "Customer service..." and stare vacantly into space while waiting for your supervisor
• All of the above

A customer picks up a can of soda but decides he doesn't want it while at the register. You

• Call Sunnyvale to doublecheck his resale number
• Call Pepsi to check the expiration date on the soda
• Refuse to return it because he doesn't have a receipt
• All of the above

Computer or software sales

A customer approaches you on the floor and asks how much memory you need to run Windows 95. You

• Pretend you don't hear them and walk briskly into the next aisle
• Say, "Can't you see I'm helping another customer?!", and run off to the backroom to smoke a cigarette
• Continue to stare blankly into space
• Blurt out the first number that comes into your head

You pick up the ringing phone, expecting to hear your girlfriend and/or mother. A customer(!) asks if you have Photoshop 3.05 for Windows in stock. You

• Blurt "Certainly!" in a loud voice, while checking your teeth in the reflection from your suitcoat and trying to remember if you hid the last copy well enough
• Snarl "Not my department!" into the receiver and slam down the phone
• Play a game with the other clerks- see who can get a caller to hold the longest by offering to "Check the Fremont store."
• Explain how you're really a software developer, and that your Visual Basic version 'Fotoshop' is really far superior and only slightly more expensive

Audio/Visual?Create sales

A kindly older gentleman asks to purchase the 13" TV that was advertised in the morning paper for $99, a gift for his granddaughter's college dorm room. You

• Tell him that, darn it, you've just sold the last one. However, the top-quality 'SUNY'-brand TV right next to it is only $225! When he points out the stack of sale TVs next to the display, tell him they're empty boxes. If he picks one up to see, run
• Scoff at his selection. Explain that all the kids nowadays would be humiliated by anything less than a 60" Mitsubishi with Stereo Surround- only $3200!
• Tell him Sunnyvale has some, and they'll hold one. Then call Sunnyvale and tell them to send him to Campbell. Repeat.
• Invite him out to your car, where there's an 'Open Box Buy'

You're working the AV room today. Customers come in to see the Home Theater equipment. You

• Diddle nonchalantly with the equipment, and tell people you have the same $1400 Carver amp at home. Only your Mom knows you buy only Realistic from Radio Shack
• Insist repeatedly that the Technics speakers are really the same as the Infinity Crescendos, just without the expensive nameplate
• Fantasize idly of your dream job at Circuit City. Someday, someday
• Put Top Gun into the VCR and turn the volume up so loud that you're instantly sterile

Employment Experience:

Have you been fired by Radio Shack or any subsidiary of the Tandy Corporation in the last three years?

  Yes  No 

Have you been involved in retailing in the USSR, North Korea, Thailand, or any of the former Soviet satellites?

  Yes  No  

Are you 'computer literate'*?

  Yes  No  

• Can you:
  • Program your VCR?

   Yes  No  

• Use an ATM?

   Yes  No  

• Use a remote channel changer?

   Yes  No  

• Flush a toilet without assistance?

   Yes  No  
  *NOTE: If answer to any of the above is yes, please answer YES. 

Expected salary:

 $4.85/hr  $5.00/hr  $5.15/hr  $6.00/hr*  
 *Your Masters is in ___________________________________  

Previous Employment:

• Circuit City
• Lozano's Car Wash (started as wiper, promoted to waxer)
• Domino's deliveryman
• "You want fries with that?"
• Just turned 16- first job!

For how long?

• a paycheck
• a couple weeks until the federales caught up with me
• they think I'm in the stockroom right now

Thanks for applying to Fry's Electronics. We're certain you'll be robbing us blind in no time!

Back to Humor

Search for books about:

Bobsgear - Get A Free Enterrpise Wiki Space!
Review: The Bobsgear Project was started to develop a variety of Confluence plugins. This installation of the Confluence Enterprise wiki includes flexible attachments, many Confluence plugins, personal blogs, interesting articles, and more. Bobsgear already has spaces related to politics, art and photography wiki, technical issues wiki, ediscovery wiki, health, Christian theology and Sabbath School wiki, the bible, book reviews, and quotations. Bobsgear allows free signup, and invites anyone to create a free hosted Confluence wiki space.

NEW USERS CLICK HERE! for a quick introduction to Wiki.

Elapsed:1