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Budhist Majority In Thailand Bombs Southern Muslim Minorities With Tons Of Paper Peace DovesBudhist Majority In Thailand Bombs Southern Muslim Minorities With Tons Of Paper Peace Doves
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Subjects > World > Countries?Create > Thailand
6 December 2004
The Thai Air Force was used today to bomb the largely Muslim south with tons of paper peace doves. As tons of litter rained on the country side, government officials held a conference to announce that they were keeping their promise.
Villagers stared into the sky waiting for the promised arrival of an estimated 200 tons of north Thailand paper in the form of peace doves. Rescue workers aided several villagers who were struck by the failling shrapnel, and treated several sprained ankles of Muslims who were fallen by the slippery litter on the way to afternoon prayers.
Government officials laughed off the record at televised pictures of Muslims scrambling to find the one paper peace dove which was rumored to be signed by Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra. The rumored peace of litter was supposed to have a promise of a scholarship or a job interview for the finder.
The air drop was scheduled to coincide wtih the 77th birthday of King Bhumibol Adulyadej. Youth were seen to be in a festive party mood across the region, while their tired parents labored to dispose of the airborne clutter. "First chicken flu, and now this", commented one weary village elder.
International calls for a declaration of an environmental disaster went unheeded. A group of environmentalists sponsored by the Jimmy Carter Center arrived to test the doves for the presence of trace chemicals such as dioxins.
Seeking proof that John F. Kerry would have won the election if these birds had been stuffed into American ballot boxes, a plane load of lawyers for the failed Presidental Campaign of Former Democratic Presidential Candidate John F. Kerry were also due to arrive in the evening. Republican accusations that they would attempt to register Thai's as Democratic voters in the next presidential election were scoffed at, until one embarrased lawyer was discovered at an airport security checkpoint with a bulging briefcase of voter registration forms with dollar bills stapled to them. The lawyer was cleared for disembarkation without further inspection of his shoes.
Film Maker Michael Moore, and nearly forgotten Democratic Vice President and failed Presidential Candidate Al Gore, reportedly were considering travelling to Thailand to seek support for their next documentary about the Republican connection to bombing innocent civilian Muslims with tons of debris.
Ebay officials reported that since the bombing was meant to be a peaceful act, the normal ban on auctions of war ammunitions would not be applied to auctions of the peace doves. They would not confirm that 5 copies of the signed peace litter promising a job were already available for sale on eBay.
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